


Valentine Surprise

by demoncow97



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Belphegor suffers, Diavolo why can't you just be normal for once, Established Relationship, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Just kidding I love you, Lucifer is done with everyone's shit, M/M, This is more like teen+ but rated M just in case, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 15:42:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29456196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demoncow97/pseuds/demoncow97
Summary: Diavolo's Valentine's gift to Belphegor isn't quite what anyone was expecting, but it's the thought that counts!
Relationships: Belphegor/Diavolo (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 19





	Valentine Surprise

Belphegor had never felt such abject horror in his entire life.

He’d seen Beel eat amounts of food equivalent to their family in weight, he’d seen Levi making out with some anime body pillow, he’d seen Lucifer exist in his general vicinity. Hell, Belphegor had fought in a WAR!

But at this singular moment, those things all took a backseat to the object standing at the base of their stairway in the entranceway of the House of Lamentation.

The object in question, standing taller and broader than Belphegor in stature, was a dramatically posed life-sized model of his boyfriend. That in itself already sounded embarrassing enough, but no, that wasn’t even the tip of the iceberg.

If it had _just_ been a weird statue of Diavolo, Belphegor could have dealt with it. Dating Diavolo, after all, meant getting used to new weird and tiring shit daily anyways. (Okay maybe he found the constant chaos amusing, but it was still exhausting.)

But _no_ , it wasn’t just a weird statue of Diavolo.

It was a statue. Made entirely out of chocolate. A NUDE statue made entirely out of chocolate. Emphasis on the fact that it was a _naked_ scale chocolate statue of his boyfriend, which stood in the middle of the house’s entrance.

A little note in cursive reading ‘ _Happy Valentine’s Day Belphie’_ was held in the statue’s hand while the other chocolate arm was posed on its hip.

Too frozen in his newfound dread, Belphegor hadn’t even reached the stage of trying to hide the atrocity before a low whistle followed by a loud shriek dragged Belphegor further into his petrified state.

Turning toward the newcomers, Belphegor winced as he took in the faces of his brothers.

Mammon looked downright horrified, Levi looked flustered beyond compare, Satan looked disapproving, Asmo looked impressed somehow, and Beel just looked… hungry.

Lucifer followed the group from behind, took one look at the chocolate statue, and turned around to leave.

“What the hell is that?!” Mammon cried, shielding his eyes behind his phone.

Belphegor was unsure how to answer that.

“Belphie~” Asmo all but cooed, skipping over to get a closer look at the monstrosity. “I never pegged you for someone so shameless! I’ve never felt prouder.”

Asmo wiped away a fake tear before continuing.

“Hey, is this thing actually to scale?” he asked poking the very chocolate dick of Belphegor’s boyfriend.

Belphegor quickly stomped over and slapped Asmo’s hand away.

“Don’t touch it!” Belphegor yelled, unsure how it was possible to feel any more embarrassed at this point.

“Awww but Belphie, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. If anything, I’m impressed you can take that big boy up the ass,” Asmo winked. “Who knew my little brother was such a size queen!”

Belphegor was unsure whether the resultant choking sound was from himself or Mammon.

Probably both.

Asmo went back to inspecting the details of the statue while Belphegor contemplated how long he’d have to hide from the world to work through his own shame. He watched Mammon make a few more flustered noises before taking a picture of the statue and retreating.

Levi still looked frozen, having completely short-circuited. Belphegor was surprised he hadn’t fainted altogether.

Looking for his own escape route, Belphegor felt a hand on his shoulder only to look up to meet Satan’s confused face.

“Why?” was all Satan asked.

And really, Belphegor had been asking himself the same thing ever since he found the statue waiting for him.

Why would Diavolo get him this of all things? He himself had gone classic and had made Diavolo some chocolates. And sure, dating Diavolo meant expecting something outlandish from time to time, but it never came without a reason.

In fact, two weeks ago Diavolo had even _asked_ Belphegor what he wanted, and Belphegor had said…

Shit.

Okay maybe this made more sense than Belphegor had initially thought.

But still! This wasn’t what he’d meant at all!

It’d been as perfect a night as any Belphegor could remember. He and Diavolo had been having a lazy night together. A nice dinner, some casual conversation, which had ended with the two cuddling in bed together. The beginning of February had brought about the topic of Valentine’s day, and Belphegor had been griping about how commercial the holiday was.

“What would you like for Valentine’s then Belphie?” Diavolo had asked, an amused look in his eye.

Belphegor had responded with a mischievous grin of his own, before pushing Diavolo to lie down and straddling the larger demon.

“Maybe I just want you?” Belphegor had said before leaning down and kissing Diavolo soundly, earning him a pleased groan.

He’d let his hands wander over Diavolo’s shoulders and then further down until they found their way up and under the demon’s shirt. Diavolo’s body ran warm, and only got more heated the more Belphegor massaged the muscles.

Belphegor had pulled away momentarily, devoting himself to the task of unbuttoning Diavolo’s shirt.

“No chocolates or flowers then?” Diavolo had asked, sounding genuinely curious despite the look in his lidded eyes.

Having successfully finished with the buttons and exposing Diavolo’s chest, Belphegor had set his focus on the next piece of clothing in his way.

“Well of course I like chocolates,” he had responded without thinking. As if there was anytime Belphegor would turn down sweets.

Then, as he had worked his way down Diavolo’s strong body, pausing with a heavy hand over the tent of his boyfriend’s pants, Belphegor had finished his thought saying.

“But for Valentine’s, I think I’d rather just eat you.”

Thinking back, Belphegor groaned at the stupid line. But he’d been in the heat of the moment and Diavolo had been _very_ appreciative of how things had gone.

That didn’t mean Belphegor wanted to literally eat a chocolate version of his incredibly hot boyfriend! He’d just wanted to suck his dick! Not that he could use that as an explanation for Satan!

Luckily he was saved from having to explain the gift when a loud yell drew his attention.

“Beel! You can’t just eat Belphie’s well-endowed chocolate boyfriend! I haven’t even taken a selfie with it yet!” Asmo’s voice carried through the entranceway.

Reluctantly turning his head, Belphegor witnessed one of brother’s attempting to stop the other from eating his chocolate boyfriend’s arm. Asmo’s efforts might have meant more if Beel didn’t already have a chocolate bicep in his mouth, the arm now detached from the rest of the body.

Beel met Belphegor’s gaze for a moment and looked guilty.

“Sorry Belphie, there was just so much chocolate and I was really hungry,” Beel said with downcast eyes.

“It’s fine Beel,” Belphegor said, feeling more exhausted by the second.

It’s not like he could eat the thing anyways. That would just be weird. Right? But at the same time… this was something Diavolo had gotten for _him_.

“Actually, could you help me move it to the attic,” Belphegor asked.

He would’ve suggested his room, but that was also Beel’s room, and his brother didn’t need the continued presence of a naked Diavolo staring at him.

“Of course Belphie,” Beel accepted, hoisting the statue up rather easily for how big it was.

Belphegor carried the newly disconnected chocolate arm that Beel had bitten off, leading Beel up toward the attic. Belphegor had never needed a nap more badly in his life.

“Wait Belphie, now we can discuss bedroom food play together! I personally think—wait come back!” Asmo called after him.

Belphegor did not wait up.

It was only an hour later that Diavolo showed up in the attic where Belphegor had taken up seclusion, bounding happily into the room.

“Belphie! Happy Valentine’s day! Did you like my gift? Did I taste good?”

Diavolo’s eyes were bright and mirthful, looking expectant but joyful. The demon looked so happy and unaware of the mental trial Belphegor had just faced, or the fact that he could no longer look his brothers in the eyes anymore. Instead Diavolo waited for what he probably expected to be praise or a loving welcome on this romantic holiday.

“Do that again and it’ll be your real dick that gets bitten off,” is what Belphegor says.

Diavolo gulped, but still managed a chuckle.

“Well you did say you wanted to eat me for Valentine’s I suppose.”

Belphegor grabbed the chocolate arm and proceeded to slap his boyfriend with it.

**Author's Note:**

> This was silly but I have no regrets! Every day I get closer to writing the belpholo smut I wanna see in the world, but I'm not quite there yet!
> 
> Me and my friends talked out this scenario months ago, because our chats usually devolve into belpholo anyways. Hope ya'll enjoy!


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